


Checkmate re-write

by NordicPrincess93



Series: Checkmate [3]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV), Pan - Fandom, dark!pan - Fandom, ouat, peter pan ouat
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Self Harm, family love, possoble trigger warnings, robbie kay's eyebrow thing, underage in some countries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:35:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26015098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NordicPrincess93/pseuds/NordicPrincess93
Summary: What if Pan never needed the heart of the truest believer to remain in Neverland? He may have ended up in Storybrooke for a completely different reason. What if Hook didn’t help Cora and Hook/Swan started in a different way? This is an AU of ABC’s once upon a time.
Relationships: Felix/OC, Gotta love a love triangle, Hook/Swan, Pan/OC, Peter Pan/OC
Series: Checkmate [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1593097
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS THE RE-WRITE
> 
> Hello to anyone that reads this, this was my first Pan AU, the story idea given to me by a friend. I'm re-writing this because even I am cringing looking back at my work and i'd like to not do that. i'm adding not only more detail, and chapters but I may even end up merging this one and it's sequel together (I haven't decided yet).
> 
> If you do find a plot hole or an issue that really bothers you, then just leave me a comment and i'll fix it as soon as I can, but obviously working hard to polish those out.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

I remembered dancing through the trees, leaping from the low branches. Jumping from boulder to boulder and swinging on vines, landing feet first on the leaf covered ground. A man I knew to be my father, held me high above his head, his laughter echoing around me.

Every night, I dream of that place, that memory. And every night it ends the same. A shadow whisking me away, my father reaching out for me as he lay dying, a figure next to him, holding the blade responsible. The shadow always leaves me on the same doorstep, giving me a pointed stare before flying away.

I always wake with the shadow’s eyes glaring into my soul, a warning that it would one day be back for me.

The morning of my sixteenth birthday I awoke from the eyes, to find my mother walking into my room with a small cake, unlit candles scattered on the top. She danced to the foot of my bed, smiling her famous smile.

“I couldn’t find any matches, but I’m sure we could pretend.”

Mother always knew how to make me smile. Ever since she found me on her doorstep, she had loved me like her own, and had raised me as such. Her husband, furious at the scandalous rumours around the street, demanded she take me elsewhere, renounce me, or leave me to die. Unfortunately for him, my mother’s childhood had taught her to be strong, meaning she refused to be controlled or even spoken to in such a way. She held me close, demanding to the whole world that I was now hers. Her husband left her shortly after, but she never missed him .

“He always reminded me of……” But she would never finish the sentence. “We’re glad to be rid of him.”

My mother always raised me to be as true to myself as I could be, with some exceptions. She delighted in my passions but with every new hobby, I was to learn one of her choice. When I wanted to dance and took ballet lessons, she would always make sure I learned a few lessons of something like archery, or fencing. When I wanted to add gymnastics to the list, she agreed with the condition that I take up swimming or self-defence.

I always wondered if she was preparing me for something, but when asked the question, she would always frown and get lost in her memories for a moment, it was as if she was trying to teach me how to care for myself.

Camping with scouts was a favourite of mine. Once again a scandal for a girl to be in the scouts, but with my mother reading them stories and teaching them a few tricks, they counted me as part of the family. Mother was always worried that I would fail at something and frown, or sulk, but I never did. I failed, of course, but I never let anyone see my failures. Mother would always watch and smirk to herself, as if me succeeding was a great secret.

It was as if I could never fail.

“Why don’t we stay home today?” Mother whispered after I had blown out my imaginary candle flames.

“It was as if you heard my wish, you sure you aren’t magic?” She gave me a wink and danced off to get dressed, leaving my cake on the bed.

As I reached for the perfectly iced dessert, I noticed the card underneath the base. It wasn’t like mother to forget something, especially a card on my birthday. Upon closer inspection I realised that the cake was more than perfect, hand sewn white lace adorned the edges and tiny flowers sat amongst the candles. I sighed smiling at the fact that she had spent all night on my cake and probably hadn’t slept.

After dressing, my outfit one for the neighbours to gawk at once again. “A girl wearing men’s trousers, it’s unladylike.” I giggled at the memory, and apparently so did mother, for when I arrived in the kitchen, she joined me in my giggling.

“You’ll give Gladys a coronary at this rate my dear.” Giggled my mother, her smile beaming.

“Shh,” I hushed my mother. “Don’t tell everyone my plans!” We giggled again before she hugged me. I slipped the card that she had forgotten to give me into her hand. She blushed before handing it back.

“Happy birthday my dearest.”

We spent the day eating cake, dancing, and playing together on the piano, before she suddenly became serious.

“I never told you about my childhood.”

“Mother, we have our whole lives to talk about it.” She shook her head. “Just tell me what you can.”

She smiled warmly and caressed my cheek softly, before taking a deep breath, tears filling her eyes.

“Do you remember the story of the boy, the one that could fly?” I nodded, urging her on. “I got the story from my childhood, I tried to make it fun for the children…….but…..”

“You don’t have to-“

“No, I do.” Mother seemed to compose herself, before her eyes caught glimpse of the setting sun. “Remember everything you learned, you can’t let….. you mustn’t…….”

“Mother?”

“I was locked in a cage, in the jungle. I was beaten and tortured for my kindness, promise me.” Mother started to sob again, her hands clasping mine. “Promise me you wont show weakness, face the demon, fight, win!”

“Mother, what demon?” The windows started to rattle and the room grew colder. “I don’t understand!”

“Go upstairs, arm yourself, plenty of knives.” I nodded, her words making no sense, but I always knew to trust her judgments. I ran to the stairs, pausing to throw one last sad smile to my mother.

“I promise.” She matched my smile, her tear sodden cheeks lifting slightly.

I got to my room and slammed the door, grabbing my bow, strapping my arrows to my back, tightening my belt with my sword thrown into its sheath, and finally placing a knife everywhere I could think of putting one.

My window started to shudder, pulling my attention to the now darkened sky behind it. with a final lean, I grabbed a handful of cake, stuffing it into my face, refusing to have a birthday without the sweet confection.

Finally my window rose, and the eyes that had haunted me since I was a child, rested on mine once again. The hand that carried me to my mother reached out to me, finally taking me back, just like I always knew it would.

My hand, now devoid of cake, reached out, whilst the other fumbled for my locket, finally finding it under my shirt. “I’m ready.” I told the shadow floating in front of me.

Slowly it approached, hand taking mine. Its cold touch reminding me of my dream. Swiftly it pulled me away, above the rooftops and over the city. Higher and higher we flew, until a shiver washed over me. Suddenly I realised that below us, instead of the city, was now the sea, and ahead of us was something I had never expected to see again.

“The island from my dream!” I gasped. Slowly in the horizon, the sun started to rise, washing the little island in colour.

As we got closer I saw boats and ships sat in a harbour on the left of the island, and on the furthest reaches I could see mountains with glistening snow on their peaks. The sudden sound of a cannon drew my attention down wards to see a ship almost beneath me. The sails were dirty white and the crew were just dots in my vision, but the flag was clear enough.

“Pirates?” I asked to no one in particular as another cannon sounded. The shadow seemed to scream as it released my hand, watching as I fell to the water below. My scream matched that of the shadow as I dropped, luckily gathering my senses just in time to take a breath, before hitting the water.

The sudden chill almost caused me to gasp, but I managed to hold it together enough to kick back up to the surface, grateful that the weather and the sea were calm enough to not drown me.


	2. Chapter 2

Not long after I had resurfaced, a rope was thrown to me, landing close enough to grab onto.

“Quickly now lad, before the mermaids get ya!” Called a voice. “Just hold on tight and we’ll pull ya in!” I did as I was told, confused about the mermaid comment, but unwilling to stay long enough to find out.

I held on tight, feeling myself being pulled through the water and up the side of the ship, grateful that I could still hear my arrows in my quiver. I chalked it up to luck and braced myself to climb over the railing. Hands grabbed this way and that, pulling me over onto the deck of the ship. As I dropped onto the deck I felt my legs tremble, and my arms grow weak, I realised immediately that I wouldn’t have been able to pull myself over.

Slowly I looked up to see a group of scraggly looking men, some with beards, some without legs, but all with swords. As I looked at them, they looked at me, noticing one by one that I wasn’t what I appeared to be. The hushed whispers soon turned to voiced questions as they started to question their eyesight.

“Starkey, can you see what I see?”

“A girl”

“There’s never been a girl before, what do we do?”

“She came with the shadow.”

“He wants her, if he wants her then he will come get her, there’s no hiding from Pan.”

The ruckus had built up until boots could be heard clunking across the deck. The men fell silent as, what could only be described as their captain, came into view. He wore black leather, despite the sun that had already started to grow warm, and instead of a left hand, was a hook. The sun reflected brightly off the carefully polished metal and onto the deck.

“well, well, well, what do we have here lads?” The man smirked until his eye caught mine. He visibly stepped back in confusion but didn’t show it on his face. I took this as my chance to stand, check my weapons and shake off some residual water. “But, you’re a lass.” The man almost spluttered.

“Oh, you noticed?” I sassed, unallowing myself to be afraid of the armed stranger in front of me. “I was hoping it wasn’t too obvious, it’s the hair isn’t it?” I reached up to release my bun, allowing my long brunette and very wet hair to drop over my shoulders.

“You shouldn’t be here lass.” The pirate’s voice was dark, as if attempting to scare me.

“Well I don’t think I had any choice in the matter, you shot down my travel companion.” The man scoffed out a smile, clearly impressed by my retort.

“Look at that flag.” He pointed up to the mast of his ship. “Do you know what that means?”

“Hmm, now let me think,” I put my hand on my chin, prepared to follow mother’s advice. “Are you fairies?” I paused, wondering how far I could push the men, knowing only that I was in danger, but determined to face it. “No, that’s not it…….ooh ooh, I know, you’re archaeologists……no?..........i got it, scientists? No that’s not it either…….geographers?”

“Come off it girl, we’re pirates!” Shouted one of the men behind me, eliciting an “ARR!” from the others surrounding me.

“Obviously!” I chuckled.

“You’re trying my patience lass.” Sneered the captain.

“Ob-viously.” I said, copying the slow unimpressed tone of a teacher I once had. “I’m curious to know, what will happen, when that patience…….runs…..out.”

The pirate sensed something in my words and drew his sword, but I was quick, I’d seen his intent and had drawn my own sword, matching his stance.

“Was it something I said?” I jested, receiving nothing but glaring eyes from all around me. “Wanna dance old man?”

“Dance?” The pirate scoffed stepping back. “Old man? Im only thirty se- oh bugger this, I’m not fighting you lass, put the sword down.”

“You first.” I was taken aback by the pirate lowering his sword straight away and lowered my own slowly, sensing nothing but defeat in the man’s eyes.

“Welcome to the jolly roger.”

“Just like that?” I eyed the pirate. He was exhausted, both physically and mentally, they all were, the whole crew, dead on their feet.

“Aye lass, why don’t you tell me your name?”

“You first”

“Ladies first”

“Age before beauty”

“Fine.” He stretched out his good hand and I took it with mine. “Captain Killian Jones, but you can call me Hook, everyone else does.”

“I can see why.” I gestured, releasing his hand. “My name is Bethany, My mother calls me Beth, but my father always called me-“

“Annie?” A man pushed through the crowd that had formed around the captain and I. His face was the same as my memory, unchanged, his clothes dirty and his under-eyes black, but he was the same.

“Father? Is it really you?” He opened his arms and without hesitation, I bound towards him and straight into them. He didn’t lift me like in my memories, but he held me close, his face in my hair. Slowly he pushed me back for a better look, assessing me.

“Let me look at you, you are so like your mother.”

“But, father you were dying, I saw you.”

“You saw me dying yes, but you didn’t see me die, I’m still here.”

“Why was I taken away?” The man blanched, the small amount of colour he had left in his tired face disappearing instantly.

“Pan.” He whispered. “Pan’s shadow took you.”

“Took me?”

“I’m so sorry, my love, it happened all so fast, you’re here now.” He pulled me close for another hug before realising that my presence wasn’t really a good thing. “You have to leave, it will come back for you, he will never stop.”

“You know she can’t leave.” Interceded Hook. “She’s trapped here like the rest of us now mate.”

I watched as father’s eyes filled with tears, his hands gently stroking my drying hair. I smiled as kindly as I could, but his face showed no happiness. Suddenly he collapsed, tears falling down his face.

“Father!” I dropped to my knees next to him, holding his face in my hands, wiping his tears with my thumb. “Father.”

“Look at you, so much like your mother, my little Annie, a woman, sixteen, all those years I missed.”

“Father, how have you not aged?” Hook answered for my father.

“There’s no aging here lass, it’s as if time itself abandoned this island. Sometimes we even loose count of the days.” I felt my brow furrow.

“But, if there is no time, then how do you know my age?” My father sobbed harder, his hands covering his face. “Father?”

“Oh my dear.” He sighed, lifting his head to look at me again. “What have I done to you?”

“You did what was right Ben, we all agreed we would have done the same.” Hook admitted, coming forward to rest his hand on my father’s shoulder. The crew around us murmured in agreement. “You wanted to keep her safe, we all did, and look what she has had the chance to become.”

“I didn’t keep her safe.”

“Safe from what? Father tell me, what did you do?”

“He sold you to me.” Came a voice from behind the crew. They parted to reveal a boy about my age leaning against the mast, dressed all in green with his hands crossed over his chest. The crew drew their swords in what seemed to be habit, causing the boy to raise his hands.

“You aren’t supposed to be on my ship mate, we had a deal.” Hook snarled.

“Easy lads.” The boy smirked. “I’m unarmed.” He lowered his hands to his hips, making sure the crew saw his lack of weapon. “And as for being on your ship, I had to come for what’s mine…….mate.” The boy’s eyes bore into mine, causing a shiver to rise up my spine.

My father stood in front of me as forcibly as he could, trying to protect me from what appeared to be a very cocky boy. “I didn’t sell her to you, I begged your shadow to take her somewhere safe.”

“Oh yes, but, that was a deal you see, you broke your deal by surviving.” He paused dramatically as my father realised his mistake. “I promised that by you surviving, you had subjected your dear Annie to a lifetime here. To be returned on the day she turn sixteen.”

“I thought I was going to die, your shadow promised she would be safe.”

“But, you survived, breaking our deal, I was promised death in return for her safety.”

“But I was-“ My father was cut off from a simple wave of the boy’s hand, throwing him into the air and back down onto the rest of the crew. Suddenly, the boy and I were face to face as I pushed his back into the mast, one of my daggers on his throat.

“Oh this one has fire!” he shouted triumphantly to the crew behind me that were still on the ground. His eyes turned back to mine, his pupils dilated and his green irises seemed to crackle with energy. “I like fire.” One of his eyebrows raised as his grin grew sinister.

“Pan!” interjected hook, breaking the eye contact. “She’s just reunited with her father, let her have a few days with him first.”

“Oh come now hook, she’s been mine since she was a child, I want some time with her too, especially now.” His eyes turned back to mine before glancing down quickly, clearly admiring something. “Look what you’ve become.”

His eyes flicked back up to meet mine as I pushed my dagger more forcefully into his neck, drawing blood. For some reason I could suddenly smell a swift summer breeze, the dirt after rain and something else I couldn’t quite figure out. I realised as he chuckled quietly at the increased pressure of my dagger and the squeeze of my nails in his wrist, securing his hand above his head, that the smell, was him.

“And what, pray tell, have I become?” I growled, throwing all of my hatred into this being that I barely knew into my words.

“Why, little Annie, don’t you know?” He moved against the push of my dagger to whisper into my ear, his breath winding around my lobes. “You’re my lost girl.” He put his head back against the mast and grinned as I watched a bead of his blood trickle down my dagger.

I suddenly realised that he was under my grasp willingly, he was the one in control, not me. Reluctantly I pulled back, sheathing my dagger and slowly backing up to stand near Hook, my father the other side of me. The boy took his time to lower his hand to study the nail marks I had left, he seemed impressed with my work. I watched in horror as with a wave of his hand, the cut I had made to his throat vanished, but the nail marks remained.

“Something to show the boys, don’t you think hook, they’re going to like her.” His eyes once again flickered to me. “I know I will find her to be lots of fun.”

“You leave my daughter alone!” grunted my father, moving forward, but once again the boy was much quicker. This time, instead of throwing my father into the air, the wave of his hand simply froze him in place.

“Now I see where you get your spark from, little Annie.” He held out his hand, my nail marks bright on his wrist. “Come along.” I stepped back, causing the boy to lower his hand slightly. He twitched his fingers asking wordlessly. When I refused to move, his eyebrow raised again. “You don’t want me to loose my patience now, do you? I could burn everyone on this ship, including your dear papa and take you by force, if that’s what you want.”

“Three days.” The boy looked confused at my statement. “Give me three days with my father.”

“One”

“Three”

“No little Annie, the point of a bargain is to adjust your offer.”

“Listen to him lass.” Whispered Hook in my ear. “He may look like a boy, but he is a bloody demon, be careful what you say.”

Suddenly I remembered what my mother had said in her panic, only hours before. “Promise me you wont show weakness, face the demon, fight, win!” The demon she meant, was this boy. Beaten and tortured, locked in a cage, because of him. Refusing to loose against the demon and let my mother down, I held my ground.

I looked at the scene around me, my father frozen by what appeared to be magic, the crew frozen by fear, the captain unwilling to challenge someone more than half his age. Then finally, I looked again at the demon in green. Feeling confidence rise, I took a breath.

“Okay, two days. Two days with my father, two days to learn about the island, two days to learn what I can do on this ship, then I will come with you willingly and be your “Lost girl” on one condition.”

“You don’t condition me, girl.” His anger flared, but my composure remained the same.

“I get to visit my father on this ship whenever I wish.”

“No.”

“Then let me sweeten the deal for you.” The boy’s eyes flashed at the word deal. “You can do whatever you want.” The boy’s brow raised once again, interested in all the possibilities I was giving him.

“Anything?”

“Anything….. I’ll even act scared if that’s what you want.” He was definitely intrigued. I could almost see the cogs whirring in his brain. “But refuse me the visits to my father, and I’ll refuse you.”

There was a long pause as the demon boy thought it over, I almost expected him to refuse in an attempt to regain control, but suddenly his hand shot out.

“You have yourself a deal, lost girl.” I took his hand, cringing at the feel of it around mine. Our eyes met again before he vanished, my hand still in the same place, now empty. My father shot forward, instantly unfrozen at the boy’s disappearance.

“I’ll destroy you Pan!” My father found only air where the boy had been but a second ago. He turned and acknowledged me, my hand now lowered and resting on the hilt of my sword.

“Nicely done lass!” congratulated Hook. “We will make a pirate of you yet. Now, drinks are in order methinks, strong ones!” The crew cheered and congratulated me, impressed by my bravery. I however, felt like I had just made a deal with the devil, one I could never break.


	3. Chapter 3

A few hours after the incident with the boy I now knew to be called “Pan,” my father and I were sat together in the captain’s cabin. We had spoken of missed birthdays, interests, hobbies, and even the little quirks that we shared. When I told him the deal I had struck with Pan, my father’s smile faded.

“Look’s like you became a pirate.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Father smiled kindly.

“No, I’m just sad I missed you outwitting the devil himself. No pirate here has ever managed it.” Father stood, gesturing to my sword. “Let’s see what you can do then.”

The rest of the day was spent sparring with the crew, including the captain. I used my bow to shoot apples off of heads, and seagulls stupid enough to fly overhead. I showed my rope climbing skills and beat many to the crows nest, swinging back down in a victorious curve around the mast.

After an afternoon of acting like children in a playground, the captain grew serious and challenged me for real, curious to see what I was really capable of. I used a few cheeky tactics to evade his swings, using the items around me, but eventually I had him pinned.

“Pan wont be this easy Annie.” He growled, standing to challenge again.

“You think this is easy?!” I retorted, matching his blade move for move.

We continued in our dance until sunset, many grew tired of watching their captain going down over and over again, but many found it entertaining. That is, until my father forced us to call it a day to sit down for dinner. All of us congregated on the deck to eat the seagulls I had killed a few hours before. The men passed around the rum, making sure I had a few swigs when my father wasn’t looking.

Eventually, like the rest of the crew, I grew tired. Many had passed out on the deck from a rum fueled coma, many had simply enjoyed the feeling of a full belly and paused to rest their eyes. The captain and I spoke quietly about the day, the island in front of me, and even about the relationship between my mother and father.

They had sailed away together in an attempt to find somewhere safe to live, not realising that they had sailed into a dangerous part of the sea. Hook had rescued them but not before my mother was gravely injured, using the last of her strength to give birth to me. As I looked at the captain who had been the first to hold me, I felt a bond there that I knew could never break.

“We raised you, but when we found our ship here, I knew we had to find a way to keep you safe.” Hook sighed. “Pan owns the island, and no one leaves without his consent, I learned that the hard way.”

We both studied the island ahead of us, the lights from the harbour reflecting on the sea.

“We knew asking Pan to send you away was a bad idea, but your father was desperate. When the lost boy ran him through, Pan was furious. Ben made the deal in a heartbeat, thinking that you would be safe. When your father survived………..well, that’s when things got worse.”

“How could they get worse?”

“Your father drank the water from the island, Pan tricked him into it. Annie,” I turned to meet the blue eyes of the tired man. “Your father will die if he leaves the island.”

“So, he’s stuck here because of me?”

“No love, because of Pan.” Hook sighed again. “By tricking him into drinking the island’s water and surviving, your father had broken the deal, therefore-“

“-making me his.” Hook nodded. “But what does he want with me, I’m nothing special.” I looked out back towards the island but a cold hook under my chin brought my face back to the pirate.

“You are the most important one of all of us lass, just…..” The pirate paused, choosing his next words carefully. “Don’t let him win, but never let him know he failed.”

“What does that mean?”

“Peter Pan never fails. He’s proud of that.” Hook lowered his hook and gestured his head to his cabin. “Now get some rest, my cabin is suitable, I’ll send your father in shortly.” I nodded and made my way into the simply decorated cabin, removing my shoes and dropping straight onto the bed and into a deep sleep.

My dream for the first time in nine years consisted of, not me and my father, but me walking through the woods towards a different figure. He held his hand out for mine, I refused, but found my hand in his anyway. He lifted my hand to his mouth, gently kissing my fingers, before pulling me into his arms and shooting into the sky.

“Let me go Pan!”

“But princess, you will fall if I do.”

“I’d rather fall and die than be touched by you!”

“Okay.” He grinned, releasing me. I felt myself fall to the ground, only to wake up in bed before hitting it. I decided against trying to sleep again and instead sat on the edge of the bed. Through the curtains I could just see the light starting to creep up the sky. I put my boots on and rushed outside to watch the dawn, taking in a deep breath of the salty morning air. I believed myself to be alone on the deck, not realising the figure standing behind me until it was too late.

The sun rose and as I watched it grow, I felt my heart soar up with it.

“It’s almost as beautiful as you, my lost girl.” Came the whisper in my ear. I spun around at the voice of Pan but it was too late, the demon was gone again and nowhere to be found. I waited for my heart to slow after the initial shock, refusing to allow him to see me falter, no matter what, I refused to show weakness.

That day I spent with my father. We discussed even more about our lives and the island that lay before us, the band of boys that Pan called lost, and even the death of my mother. Father told me about the mermaids in the sea and the Indians in their camp. He told me of the poisonous plants and the ones which could help in a pinch. And finally, when there was nothing more to be said, we sat together, bathing in each other’s company and the still warm glow of the setting sun.

I watched the sun go, silently mourning its descent. I decided to make my last night on the ship a happy one. The men found some instruments and long into the night I danced with my father and his friends. The man who brought me into this world danced a beautiful waltz with me, as if it was the last dance of my life. One by one, I danced with the family I had made, determined never to forget them or to allow Pan to hurt them.

My father and I danced until long after the music had stopped, just holding onto each other tightly. Eventually the rum caught up with them all, leaving Hook and I once again alone on the deck as the pirates disappeared below to get some sleep. My father returned to the cabin after I gave him a long goodbye, full of kisses and promises that were sure to be broken.

Hook raised his sword as I returned above deck. “I am without rum this time.” I smirked, drawing my own sword and bowing low.

Neither of us held back. Once again I used the objects around me to climb, jump and swing my way around Hook’s advances. Finally, as we came face to face again, I dropped to the ground, my legs split apart, and pulled the pirate’s leg, causing him to drop to his back. Before he could get up to retaliate, I had my sword by his throat, once again defeating him.

“Well lass, I daresay you may be ready.” A slow clap emanated from in front of us. Pan was once again leaning against the mast, his face pulled into his usual smirk. I groaned slightly before helping Hook up and sheathing my sword.

“I didn’t say you could put that away princess.” He purred. I felt myself gasp at the familiar nickname.

“What did you just call me?”

“I think it suits you…….princess.” He sauntered towards me, emphasising every cocky step. Finally he was close enough for me to hear him whisper. “Have a nice fall?”

Shocked, I smacked him straight in his smug face. He made no attempt to stop me, grinning as he rubbed the offended cheek. “I hate you.” I growled.

“Why?” Came his reply. “I’m lovely.” He grinned again, his eyes meeting mine and winking. To my surprise, I managed to refrain from hitting him again, only able to glare back at those mischief filled eyes. Once he realised that I wasn’t going to act again, he sighed. “Well this has been fun. Hope to see you again, captain.”

“You’d be the only one.” Snarled Hook. Pan laughed as his arm snaked around my waist.

“Try not to fall this time.” I decided against wrapping my arms around him and instead clung to the fabric of his shirt. Before I could say goodbye to Hook, Pan shot us up into the sky and my goodbyes were lost in the wind.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here be swears, watch out!

I was grateful for the flight being short. As soon as my feet touched the ground I paused, studying the familiar foliage in front of me. Feeling nothing but the urge to run through the trees again, I took off running. Dancing between the trees and over the boulders, through the puddles, enjoying the feeling of the wind caressing my face and whipping my hair behind me. As I ran further into the forest I saw the sun start to once again rise through the trees, sending more light bursting through. I ran until I smacked right into a chest that wasn’t there a second before. He grabbed my hand before I fell backwards and squeezed hard, pulling me back up to his face.

“You can’t run from me, princess.” He seethed.

“I think you’ll find I ran into you, not away. Besides, I wasn’t running away.” I snatched my hand from his and spun around, admiring my view. “You’ve seen my dreams Pan, I run through these trees every night, and to do it again was……..” I couldn’t find the words so I just let my smile do the talking.

“I didn’t tell you that you could run.”

“I didn’t run from you.”

“You ran the second we touched down.”

“I’ve been wanting to run on this island for years. Look at it Pan, feel it, the air, the forest breathes. Can’t you feel it?”

“Of course I can, this is my island.” Pan stared at me, his brow furrowed. “I just don’t know how you can.”

“How should I know, I just can.”

“You’re telling the truth.”

“You seem surprised by that, I tell the truth quite often, but many people never seem to believe me.” Pan shrugged off my comment, and as if someone had switched on a light, his face changed to one of mischief. The excitement was clear in his eyes.

“You want to run, okay, run, but, if I catch you, I get a prize.”

“Like a game?” Pan nodded slowly, his smirk starting to really piss me off, but I didn’t show my disdain. “What if you don’t catch me?”

“What a stupid question, of course I will catch you. You’re just a girl, you don’t know this island like I do, and you don’t have magic. Besides, I change the camp location almost every week, you could never find it.”

“Did you say “Just a girl”? Pan shrugged again. “Oh Peter Pan.” His eyes sparkled at the change of my voice, my confidence growing. “I’m not just a girl, I’m a lost girl.” I winked and before he could react, I ran.

As if the forest was on my side, I ran blindly but suddenly I found myself in a clearing surrounded by many pairs of eyes. As soon as they caught sight of me, they started pulling weapons from everywhere, all aimed at me.

Luckily, Pan appeared next to me. “Hold up boys, we have a new addition. Now where’s breakfast, I’m starving.”

The boys whooped and hollered together at my arrival, I was unsure of whether it was a good or a bad sign. A few minutes later saw them stuffing their faces, filling the camp with the sounds of chewing, slurping, and belching.

I silently backed myself up to sit near a boulder, filled with memories of breakfast with my mother. It was much quieter than this, but then, so was most of my life compared to this new one I was facing. I didn’t realise that I wasn’t alone until he spoke.

“Eat.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“that wasn’t a suggestion.”

“I know.” I sighed. “like I said, I’m not hungry.” I turned to look at Pan as a fierce rage flooded his face. The few berries he was holding went flying into the tree opposite, and the hand that threw them came down, grabbing my ear and dragging me into the middle of camp. I kicked and screamed the whole way, holding onto the promise of making a show for the boys.

“I caught our little princess trying to escape our warm embrace, what do we think of that boys?” Boos erupted from the group, replacing the eating sounds. “We extend our hospitality and make her one of us and what do we get in return?” More boos. Pan pulled my face to his. “Betrayal.” He spat into my face.

The boys kept suggesting ways of punishing me.

“Put her in the cage!”

“Starve her!”

“Beat her!”

“Give her to the mermaids!”

Pan raised his hand and the voices stopped. “You know what boys, why don’t we let our little princess choose her punishment?”

He released my ear and allowed me a moment to think. Mother had warned me of this. Cages in the jungle, being beaten and tortured. I refused to allow that to happen and thought of something I could handle, suddenly realising the race Pan and I had just had.

“Why Pan.” I gasped in fake shock. “I do recall you never catching me during our little run earlier. But you also never specified what my prize would be for winning. So why don’t we forget about this silly nonsense and go do what lost boys do best?” Pan frowned, furious he had been duped. I batted my eyelashes and he seemed to get the message.

“She’s right boys, lets do what we do best. Last one to the waterfall catches dinner!” And so we ran.

Pan made the decision to run next to me as we overtook many of the others. I didn’t know where I was going, but the forest appeared to guide me through. My hair whipped out behind me, and as I released a laugh of joy, I realised the demon running beside me was laughing too, a real laugh, as if he was having real fun.

We reached the water fall first and jumped straight in, shoes and all, grateful I had kept my bow and arrows at camp. One by one boys started to jump in around us, soon after the last boy arrived, I quickly got out to remove my boots, placing them neatly next to the pile of unmatched discarded ones.

After a while of splashing and playing water games, I felt something snake around my ankle, pulling me under. I turned to find the tall blonde from earlier so I kicked with my other leg, only to have that grabbed too. The boy’s smirk was like pan’s, thinking he had beat me, but he didn’t know I could play games too.

I bent my knees and keeping contact with him the entire time, I gently prised his fingers from my ankles. To my surprise he complied, and quickly I pulled his hands around my waist. My time for air was running out as we sank slowly to the bottom of the pool. I grabbed his hair and with as much force as I could muster under water, I pulled his lips onto mine, he was shocked but classic teenage boy reacted perfectly. I deepened the kiss and as soon as I finally felt my toes connect with the bottom, I bit the boys lower lip as hard as I could, sending blood floating to the surface. I pushed off the bottom and shot straight back up to the surface, wasting no time in getting out of the pool to stand as close to Pan as I dared.

The whole ordeal took about twenty seconds but it felt like a lifetime. Soon after, the boy splashed up to the surface and came straight for me, his face livid.

“Why you little-“ he grabbed me by the scruff of my shirt and pulled me up off the ground. His lip was bright red and starting to swell where my teeth had made contact. “You fucking bit me!”

“You tried to drown me, what was I supposed to do? Die?!” he threw me to the ground and turned to his leader.

“Punish her!” Pan was unfazed.

“I saw the whole thing Felix.” I made a mental note of the boys name. “You tried to drown our new friend, why?”

“What?! don’t turn this on me. She shouldn’t even be here. Girls are too weak for neverland, you proved that with-“

“Felix.” Pan growled, silencing the taller boy, his eyes turning darker. It took me a second to notice that the sky too had gone slightly darker, as if matching Pan’s mood. “Are you undermining my decision to make her one of us?”

“She is dangerous.”

“I’m much worse.” Pan shifted his gaze to me, his eyes flitting to my ankles and back up. I looked myself, the marks left by the boys hands angering me.

“Is your pride more hurt by the fact that I bit you, or by the fact that you kissed me back?” I sassed to the tall boy, his glare matching mine. I flipped my hair and prepared to walk away, pausing to look back at the stunned boys.

“Now if you’ll excuse me gentlemen, I am going back to camp.” I picked up my boots. “If anyone wishes to accompany me then I wont object.” After a few steps I turned back again. “Oh and, Felix, is it? You know, if it wasn’t for the fact that you were trying to kill me, I would say that was a rather enjoyable first kiss.” I grinned and strutted away giggling, before anyone could retort.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is quite a dark one, may be some triggers.

Back at camp, my hair had dried thanks to the fire, and so had my boots. I made sure all my hidden knives were dry before re-hiding them. The boys made their way back slowly, no one looking or even speaking to me. They all just went about their regular business as if I wasn’t there. A few minutes after the one called nibs dropped to a log and poured water out of his boot, Pan stormed in and grabbed my arm, pulling me out of camp and up the stairs to a little treehouse. He threw me onto a rather dusty bed and glared at me.

“Everything in neverland is mine, including you. You are never to touch or even….kiss anyone else without my permission.”

“Possessive much.” I mumbled.

“Excuse me?”

“He tried to kill me, and you were doing nothing about it. I had to save myself somehow. Besides, what if someone touches me, or even kisses me?”

“They will die.”

“By your hand?”

“Maybe. Or maybe I’ll feed them to the mermaids.”

“What about me?” Pan smirked.

“I’ll kill you myself.”

“I’m not afraid of death.”

“Your father is.”

That riled me, pushing us to once again be in the same position as a few days before, his back against something, my dagger to his throat, only this time my other hand had another weapon, one of my hidden knives. The two were criss-crossed against his windpipe but he was unfazed, he could heal in seconds. A low chuckle rumbled against my weapons and suddenly they both flew out of my hands, across both sides of the room.

His hand flew to my throat and pushed me to the ground, he was on top of me, taking all the air I had. Just as I started to lose consciousness, I punched an area of him that always leaves a guy gasping for air. His hands flew off me as he doubled over in pain. I gasped for air, coughing from the dusty room. I rolled over and crawled to reach for the glint of my dagger from under the bed but felt my hair pulled back. He was once again on top of me but I was belly down, the worst defence position. His cheek pressed against my ear as his lips grazed my neck, my head unable to move, I was completely incapacitated.

“Oh little princess, you will pay for that.” The tickle of his breath sent goosebumbs down my spine. His lips pressed harder until I could feel his teeth scratch my skin, he pulled away slightly, chuckling at the sight of my nails digging into the hand that was holding him up.

“Get off me!” I whispered, refusing to say please, refusing to beg.

“No.” And with that his teeth connected with my skin again, only this time harder. I screamed with all the air I had left in my lungs, feeling the blood mixed with his saliva trickle down into my shirt. He released his teeth and watched the blood fall, admiring his work. “I’d love to stay and chat princess, but I have better things to do. Don’t leave this room.”

My head dropped down as he let go of my hair, his weight crushing my spine vanishing with him. I let my head drop the rest of the way onto my hands and silently let the tears fall.

I had shown weakness. He got under my skin. It was as if he knew exactly how to hurt me, through my father. Pan had just showed me exactly what my price would be if I defied him. After a while feeling sorry for myself I stood. My hand automatically lifted to my neck, returning sticky with blood.

Across the room I spotted a mirror, with a basin of water and a cloth underneath. I used my sleeve to wipe the dust off the glass and gasped at my reflection. I carefully wet the cloth and dabbed at the blood, revealing the horror beneath. Bit by bit I revealed more of the demon’s marks. His fingerprints already imprinted in bruises on my pale skin. As the water darkened, so did my neck.

When I was finished, I looked at my reflection, refusing to allow myself to cry. There, surrounded by the darkest bruise I had ever seen was the imprint of the demon’s teeth. White and already scarred. “Magic.” I whispered to myself, realising that what Pan had done to me was made permanent by the magic he had put under my skin. My rage grew, if that boy thought a scar in the shape of his teeth meant he owned me, then he had another thing coming. I stormed around the room muttering to myself, checking every knife was in the right spot for his return.

Exhausted, my anger finally fading after an hour, I lifted the top covering of the bed, filling the air with dust, I opened a window in an attempt to air the small room before dropping onto the dustless bed, my head in my hands. I awoke to the sound of tears. As I shot up in the now dark room, I noticed a figure next to a single lit candle in the corner.

“Who’s there?” The head of the figure shot up. “Pan?”

“I hate it when they cry.” He whispered just loudly enough for me to hear.

“Why do they do it?”

“They can’t help it.” He mumbled. “The island is trying to use it’s magic to send them home, it’s weak.” He sighed. “Sometimes I think I’m the only one keeping this island standing.”

“Why aren’t I crying?” Pan paused, his eyes fixed on me.

“There’s a lot of things I haven’t figured out yet.”

“Maybe some sleep will help?” The boy smirked at my comment.

“A lot of things would help me princess.” He stood, blowing out the candle and washing the room in darkness. “But I will get my way in the end.” And with that comment he vanished, leaving me alone once again.

The next morning I tried the door only to find it locked, there wasn’t a hole big enough to crawl through, and the windows had nothing underneath them for me to drop onto. I was stuck. So, I did what any stuck person would do, and dealt with the situation.

I cleaned, sharpened my arrows, ate, cleaned, listened to the lost boy’s tears, fixed some furniture, slept, and cleaned some more. On the third day of my confinement, I was grateful for the random arrival of the food, not caring how it arrived anymore. I tied my hair up and started scrubbing as hard as I could to get the grime off the floor.

After a few hours with only the small window providing air, I was sweating. I had had enough of sweating in my long sleeves and rolled them up, removing my wrist knives. After another hour, I knew lunch was coming, and after finally scrubbing the floor to my satisfaction I stood, only to have my arm yanked backwards, and me with it.

I turned to see pan studying the perfectly lined scars on my wrist. White, but slightly raised, he ran his fingers over them. His touch I had never before known to be so gentle. His eyes flicked up to me, his brows furrowed. Slowly I used my other hand to slide my sleeves back down, his eyes flitted back to catch the sight of my other wrist. His other hand held that too.

He held my hands forcefully but gently, as if trying not to break me or drop me. He glared at the little offending lines, as if confused by their existence.

“What kind of creature made these?” He asked innocently. I refused to look him in the eye, almost embarrassed by my actions.

“A monster.” He released my wrists slowly. I lowered my sleeves and turned to stare out the window, my back to him. “A monster put me into a pit of darkness and sliced my arms.” I sighed. “I couldn’t tell the difference between reality and dreams. I wanted the dreams to be real, so, every day the monster made a line to show me reality.”

“How did you escape?”

“I don’t think I ever did. But the marks stopped after I accepted that I couldn’t live in my dreams, and so tried harder to live in reality. The monster is always with me.”

“I don’t see any monsters.” Whispered Pan. He was closer to me now, his breath moving the loose hair by my ear.

“If I was in the right mood, I would tell you to go and look in the mirror.” Pan paused as if trying to figure out the joke, but soon I felt his hand snaking through the hair that had come loose. He pulled the loose strands aside to reveal the side of my neck he hadn’t ruined, his fingers still remembered by the bruises dotted over my skin. “please may I leave?”

“What?!” it was a whisper so deep that it was almost a growl. His grip on my hair tightened with a slight pull of his hand.

“I want to fire some arrows, have a proper wash, run.” I turned as he released my hair, keeping his face close. Despite the height difference, we were almost nose to nose, his head angled down slightly to meet mine.

“Please Peter.” I gasped gently, hoping to appeal to a side of him that wasn’t constantly angry. Something darkened in those green eyes and for a split second I thought he was going to either kill me, or kiss me. Surprisingly it was neither, and the darkness vanished with a long blink of his eyes before he nodded.

“Fine.” He sighed, opening his eyes. “But if you do anything to anger me, I won’t hesitate to destroy your dear father and his band of codfish.” His hand tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear as his eyes lingered on my neck, his mark stark white against the still black bruise. He smirked his annoying smirk at his handiwork and vanished, the door clicking open with his absence.


	6. Chapter 6

A few minutes after Pan released me, I was straight out into the woods, my bow and arrows in hand. Not wanting to fire any arrows too close to camp, I went a little ways past the waterfall, after stopping to enjoy the sound of something other than silence.

I picked the thinnest tree I could find in a clearing of many, and started to fire. My stance needing some adjusting after a week or so out of practice. I fired until my quiver was empty, the arrows at a height where I could still retrieve them, and separated enough so I didn’t damage any by firing one into another.

I retrieved my arrows and knocked another in my bow, ready to fire, when a twig alerted my attention to the right of me, sending my arrow flying in that direction. A smirking figure emerged holding my arrow, his face as annoying as Pan’s.

“Careful lost girl.” Goaded Felix. “you could have taken my eye out.”

“It would have been an improvement.” I shrugged. His smirk vanished as mine grew, pleased I had struck a nerve. “Can I help you tall one?” He threw my arrow towards the ground. It stuck into the grass right next to my foot. “Oh dear Felix, you need to work on your aim, you appear to have missed.” I chuckled and bent over to pluck my arrow from the ground.

As I stood, I found my view blocked by a chest, I looked up and feeling no fear, I sassed my victim even further. “How’s the weather up there?” My giggle was silenced when I felt myself being pushed against a tree, his hands crushing my shoulders, and his fingers curling into my neck.

“Don’t test me lost girl.”

“Or what, you going to try and kill me again?” I looked pointedly at his lip that was considerably less red than last time I saw it. “remember what happened last time?”

He growled and pushed forward, slamming his lips into mine with a hunger I had never felt before. Remembering pans warning, I tried to pull my head back but the tree stopped me. After a second I felt my eyes close, almost enjoying the feel of his lips on mine. Felix was different to Pan, he smelt like freshly cut grass and mint leaves, like the tea mother used to make. Suddenly a sharp pain shot through my bottom lip, pulling me out of my own mind. My eyes widened in shock as the boy pulled back, my blood on his lips.

“Now we are even.”

“Felix………..you……” Wordlessly I lifted my hand to my lip, feeling nothing but deep pulsing. Finally Felix spotted them, the bruises on my neck surrounding the marks left by a certain demons teeth. The boy’s face dropped in horror before composing himself.

“I hope you understand this makes us even now lost girl, I daresay you even enjoyed it a little.” Smirked the boy, completely aware of the figure behind him.

“I’ll forgive you for your actions this time Felix. But you’re on scout duty for the rest of the week.”

“Oh that I will do willingly.” Grinned Felix, leaving the clearing without looking behind him.

“We had a deal, princess.”

“He kissed me! He bit me! I did nothing!”

“exactly. You did nothing.”

“I couldn’t move, what would you expect me to do?” I licked my lip, tasting nothing but metal. “I was firing arrows, he came at me.”

“I saw.”

“and you let him do it? It really hurts!” I moved away from the tree to collect my arrows, returning them to my quiver. Suddenly a sting threw me to the floor, my arrows scattering around me. I cradled my cheek, feeling only burning. Pan grabbed my wrists, throwing my back to the floor, his full weight on top of me.

“You are mine you know, or am I going to have to remind you?” His eyes flicked to the mark on my neck, his intentions clear. I shook my head frantically, biting my already sore lip, sending more blood onto my tongue.

He got up and stormed off, leaving me with my bruised pride and soon to be bruised cheek. I lay there for a few minutes, watching the clouds float over the trees. A single arrow flew over my vision and into the tree next to me.

I retrieved the arrow, looking around for the shooter, but I saw no one. Attached to the arrow was a note with scrawled writing, a single word next to the drawing of a feather adorning the small scrap of paper.

“Sorry.”

Sensing the note to be from Felix thanks to the feather he always wore in his hair, I pocketed the note and added the arrow to my collection, the black tipped feathers a welcome addition to my stark white ones.

I made my way back to my treehouse as the sun started to set in the sky. As I walked past camp I took the time to watch the boys dance around the fire to a song I couldn’t hear. Strangest to me was how much closer my treehouse felt to camp, as if someone had moved it. From across the fire Pan winked, both my question and answer clear. I dropped straight into my bed, grateful to myself for making it earlier in the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well at least we know Felix can apologise


	7. Chapter 7

Exhausted once again, I found myself dreaming.

I was on a beach, unsure if I was in neverland or not. The ocean lapped at my feet, just kissing my toes. The air was warm in both colour and temperature, like the evening after a hot day. After a moment of peace, I felt someone sit next to me.

“Enjoying the view?” I felt myself nod. After a pause I felt a finger under my chin, pulling my face towards his. The dark green eyes of the demon seemed to carve straight through to my soul.

“I should kiss you”

“Don’t you dare.” I whispered as his face moved nearer, his eyes fixed on my still swollen lip.

“You should come down for dinner.”

“Can’t you see I’m asleep?”

“I can wake you.” He smirked, his face drawing nearer. I dared not move or even breathe. “You’ve kissed my friend twice, why can’t I kiss you?”

“You don’t deserve me.”

“I always get what I want Bethany.”

“You don’t want me, you want chaos, to kiss me would mean wanting something else.”

“And what is that princess?” he whispered, his lips almost touching mine, his breath steady.

“To kiss would mean growing up.” His eyes shot open and he pulled away, pulling me out of my dream and back into my bed. I shot up, alone in my now dark room.

After a few minutes there was a small knock at my door. I opened it, relieved to find neither Felix nor Pan but one of the smaller boys.

“I’m sorry I don’t remember your name.”

“Nibs miss, Pan sent me with dinner.” I took the bowl gratefully, making sure to smile despite the pain in my face. The boy stayed stoic, as if frightened to show emotion. “There’s also………he said….”

“I won’t be angry Nibs, tell me what his majesty said.” The boy gulped at my sarcasm.

“He said you would have to join us for all your other meals from now on, or……”

“Or…..? let me guess, he’ll kill my father?” I giggled, bored of the same threat. The boy shook his head.

“Pan said he would kill us.” I froze, unable to process what the boy was telling me.

“Nibs.” I placed my bowl on the table and pulled the boy’s face up to look at mine. “Us? What does he mean by……..” I paused, almost unable to process the thought. “All of you?” Nibs nodded, causing my anger to flare. “He would kill all of you just to prove a point?”

“I think honestly he would do it for fun, miss.”

“Nibs, where is he?”

“Still by the fire miss.” I patted the boy’s head as I went past, grabbing my bow and quiver before walking out the door.

I stormed toward the fire, arrow knocked, aimed straight for Pan’s head. “PAN!” I yelled, causing him to stop his silent pipe playing and smirk, Felix sat across from him, eyes fixed on me. “You are supposed to protect them!” I loosed my arrow and watched it sail toward the boy’s head, knowing full well he stopped it. But not letting that deter me, I knocked another arrow, careful not to use the one from Felix.

“What are you angry about now princess? Why don’t you just scurry back to your treehouse?”

“You would kill all of these boys to prove a point?!”

“Sweetheart I would do it for fun.” He caught my second arrow without flinching but didn’t expect a third to follow so quickly, catching his ear before hitting the tree behind him. He threw the two previous arrows to the ground and walked to get the third, healing his ear as he did so. “They are just boys.”

“Well someone has to protect them!”

“Oh little princess, you can’t even protect yourself.” In my anger, I dropped my bow to the ground, shrugged off my quiver and drew my sword, ready to die despite fighting to keep people alive.

“No magic, just you and me, right now.” Pan smirked and bowed low, catching a sword thrown to him by another boy.

“Winner decides their fate.” The demon smirked.

“Deal.” My voice nearly threatened to betray me but after my little nap, I had a plan. “Maybe we should go somewhere a little……”

With a wave of his hand, pan and I appeared atop a cliff, the glow of the campfire below us and the view of the pirate ship on the sea ahead of us. The wind was bitter despite it being a warm day, the chill sent a slight shudder down my spine. I realised to my dismay that with the sun down, the only light we had was the moon.

“Chilly princess?”

“That’s the last bit of magic you do, just you and me now.” Pan raised a brow at me, hinting to something I was too angry to think of.

We started off slow, swords clashing, when suddenly, as swift as the wind itself, Pan picked up the pace. He was fast but I managed to keep up. I realised as I looked at the empty cliff around us that he had been watching my battles with the pirates, seeing me use my surroundings to my advantage. There was nothing around to help me now, just me and the demon boy.

“Want to make our deal sweeter?” Pan sneered.

“Nothing about you is sweet demon, we are fighting to keep the lost boys alive, you don’t get to make jokes.”

“I get to do whatever I want.”

“No, you don’t!”

“Oh, are you going to stop me, I’d like to see you try.”

We fought for what felt like hours, I had one knife left, but no opening to act. Instead I skidded forward and pulled his face nearer, claiming his lips with mine. A sudden pain in my side caused me to gasp against his lips.

“Annie, I…… I didn’t……” I watched Pan become speechless, his face frozen in shock. He held me as I felt my knees buckle. I looked down at where the pain was coming from to see my last knife protruding from just above my left hip.

“Bad form stabbing a girl when she’s kissing you.” I whispered, knowing he could hear me.

“Bad form kissing someone when they’re stabbing you.” He laughed once, his eyes full of worry. He looked up at something. It took me a moment to notice that he was carrying me, I didn’t know where, in fact at that moment I didn’t care.

“Hey pan.” His eyes dropped down to meet mine again. “Please don’t kill the boys, I think they’re great fun.” I hissed as my elbow knocked the still protruding knife, sending shooting pain back through my abdomen.

“Just stay awake princess, can you do that?”

“And avoid seeing you in my dreams too?” I giggled pitifully as I felt my eyes starting to close. I heard him call my name a few times after that, but the rest of the voices around me became nothing but a blur.


	8. Chapter 8

I didn’t dream, I didn’t not dream. I was in a blank white space, fog covered the floor, as if standing on a cloud.

A voice called my name, it seemed worried.

“Father?” I felt myself say, my breath producing more fog, as if the air was cold, but I couldn’t feel the cold, I couldn’t feel anything. “Pan? Is this supposed to be a game? It isn’t funny!”

A figure appeared in the mist in front of me, she wore all white, and her hair was dark, just like mine. “You smell like strawberries.” I told her, matching her smile with mine.

“You have to go back.” She said, her smile fading.

“Go back where?”

“I will see you again, but not for a long time, go back.” Suddenly I was pulled backwards away from the woman, as if a string was wrapped around my middle. I felt myself landing, the pain in my side returning and fuzzy shapes in my vision. I felt myself groan, inviting hands to rest on my shoulders.

“Lay back down lass, yer in no fit shape to move.” One of the shapes told me.

“I’ll wring his scrawny little neck, one week without seeing her and then I get her dropped at my feet like a cat bringing dead mice to its owner.” Came the other fuzzed shape as it moved in and out of my view.

“Father?” I groaned, recognising the voice. He came to my side immediately, replacing what I realised later to have been the captain.

“Don’t move my dear, the knife didn’t get anything major, you’re lucky I’ve had medical training.” He chuckled, his face starting to come into view.

“Where’s Pan?” My father froze at my words, unsure of why I asked for the demon. “I gotta save the lost boys, he’ll kill them.” I felt the tear fall down my face towards my ear but father stopped it.

“My dear it’s been a week, if he was to kill the boys, he would have done it by now.” More tears fell but father caught them in a clean handkerchief.

“I wanted to save them.” I started to move, my anger overcoming the pain. “I have to save them, Pan cheated.”

“Pan always cheats.” I felt myself laugh at my father’s truth, stopping at the new spike of pain arriving with nausea. My head dropped to the pillow a little too quickly, making my vision of the fuzzy room spin even more.

“He’ll kill them if I don’t eat with the group.”

“Then it’s his loss.”

“But he’ll kill Felix.” I felt myself say as a wave of exhaustion washed over me. Not noticing the extra person in the room until it was too late.

Once again I didn’t dream, and neither did I see the woman. Instead, I awoke to the swift rocking of a ship on a stormy sea. Alone. I stood slowly, making sure to use my hands to pull myself up on anything I could find, giving myself time to adjust to the nausea that was threatening.

I made my way slowly to the door, using everything I could to hold myself up. The noise beyond the door sounded like that of fighting. Opening the door, I found much worse.

The deck was covered in lost boys and pirates, fighting over something I wasn’t aware of. Lightening danced in the dark sky, with thunder following close behind it. The sea was vicious and the mermaids swimming inside it, glistened with excitement at the possibility of dinner.

Making my way over the deck, I picked up a dropped sword from one of the lost boys, apologising as I stepped over him, his glassed eyes unable to respond.

I made my way up to the helm, finding Pan and my father locked in a fierce battle, Hook and Felix the same. All of them fighting to what seemed like the death.

“You cannot take her Pan!” yelled my father, swiping skilfully at the smirking boy.

“That isn’t your choice to make, you’ve had your time with her.”

“You nearly killed her, you monster.”

I turned, seeing Felix and Hook locked in a similar argument and I realised, as the sky darkened even more, a sign of Pan’s anger, that they were fighting over me.

“Stop!” I called meekly, unable to be heard over the din.

“STOP!”

And as if the wind had carried my voice across all of neverland, the fighting ceased instantly, the sea calming but the sky remaining dark. Faces turned to me as I felt my knees buckle, my hand just managing to grip onto the side of the ship, dropping the sword I had acquired.

“Please.” I gasped.

All eyes dropped to the freshly stained bandage, bleeding through my shirt, just above my hip. Felix was the first to run over, catching me in his arms and holding me tightly to his chest, my head tucked under his chin.

“Pan. I think her father was right, she still needs to rest.” I heard him plead, his chest rumbling against my ear.

“The water will cure her.”

“No!” interjected my father and Hook at the same time.

“It will heal her!” Pan defended, realising he was outnumbered.

“Pan.” Pleaded Felix once again. “She’s strong enough to fight this, give her time.”

“She wouldn’t be like this if the curr hadn’t stabbed her in the first place.” Added Hook. The clink of swords making me jump slightly. Until another voice stopped them.

“We all love her.” My father stated. “But I am her father, and I say she needs to rest.”

“You love her? You gave her to me, she’s mine and I say-“

“Enough.” I squeaked out, stopping Pan before he could demand anything else. “I don’t feel so good.” I shuddered before my vision went black, hearing only Felix calling my name.


	9. Chapter 9

I awoke on the captains bed for a third time, but this time felt different. Neverland was calm, the sky through the window a lot brighter, and the rocking of the ship a lot easier. The opening of the door revealed Hook, a smile on his tired unshaven face.

“Yer awake love.” He grinned, happy to see me.

“I feel a lot better.”

“Well that’s good.” He placed the bowl he was carrying on the table across the room and pulled a spoon from his pocket, skilfully cleaning it one handed on a clean handkerchief. “You gave us all a fright lass.”

“Did I?” I smiled, wiggling my way to sit up higher, the pain in my waist almost non-existent.

“Aye lass, you had what your father called an infection. I say, if it wasn’t for the chief I think you would have left us days ago.”

“Days?”

“You’ve been on me ship here close to three weeks now lass.” Hook sighed. “I think that’s why Pan came after ya, he must have thought you were fighting fit and trying to hide. And you would have been, if not for the infection.”

“But I’m okay now?”

“Aye, seems like.” He made his way over with the bowl and the freshly polished spoon. “It isn’t too hot.” I smiled and placed a spoonful of the lukewarm liquid in my mouth, savouring the taste.

“It tastes like the one mother used to make.”

“Aye, the boys made it for the crew, a sort of apology I guess. I had never seen them so forlorn, even that Felix lad.”

“Forlorn?”

“Without you lass. That boy never left your side. Except for last night, chief said last night was the night. Sure enough, a few hours later, yer fever broke and here you are, good as new.”

“Then they left?”

“Knowing you would be back at camp within the week, Pan ordered the boys back to shore.”

“They were here?”

“All week lass, whatever yer doing to those boys, keep doing it.” I smiled and filled my mouth with soup, unable to tell the captain that all I was doing was being myself, and maybe kissing a few.

“You keep saying Chief......who…….”

“He is the chief of the island tribe, he specialises in healing, but only heals outside of his tribe for a small price.”

“A deal?” Hook chuckled.

“He isn’t as ruthless as Pan, his price was a few weapons, the recipe for the soup, little things.”

“So he’s one to trust?” Hook’s face grew dark. His mouth dropped from a kind smile into a stern line.

“You can’t trust anyone on this island lass, except your father, no one is trustworthy or safe.” His gaze drifted away, as if remembering something from long ago. “Not even me.”

Hook let me stay in bed a day longer, the crew taking turns to visit and sing me songs or leave me gifts of flowers and shells from the seashore. That night I lay on my good side to sleep, and sure enough, I was visited by another.

“Thought you hated me.” I smirked to the boy in green, his back to me.

“I had to make sure you were…………..like you said…….I have to take care of the lost boys.” He turned to me, his face unusually pale. “I had to make sure you weren’t dead.”

“Well, here I am.” I shrugged, neither of us making any attempt to move. I realised my location after a pause. “Your thinking tree?” He nodded.

“This is the site of one of the biggest decisions of my life, I come here to reflect on all my others.”

“Wondering whether you chose right?” He nodded slowly, his head tilting up only slightly, as if regretting the decisions he had made. “Was stabbing me a good decision?” He froze once again, his face getting even paler.

“I am not who I say I am, who I want to be. I am not………not a boy……..I was once a man, I lived a life that I did not wish to have, so I changed it, a fresh start.”

“Is this you saying you want a fresh start, with me?” he nodded again. Holding out his hand, I took it, clasping on tightly.

“I am Pan, Peter Pan. The ruler of neverland, watcher of dreamers, protector of lost boys. My island is dying, and I need your help.”

“What do you need from me?”

“I need you to trust me. Trust that I can protect you, trust that I can help you, you have magic, it’s faint, but there. I will not steal it from you, I need you to harness it.”

“Why?”

“Neverland needs light magic………you.” I realised I was still holding his hand but made no attempt to let go.

After a few moments of listening to the trees dancing in the wind, I nodded to the not so bad demon in front of me. “One condition.”

“More conditions?”

“Just one.” I smiled, remembering a few weeks ago where that request would have received a lot more anger. “I want to know everything about you, and I mean everything, I don’t want to be left out of any loops, and in return we will keep the lost boys thinking that nothing has changed.”

“You want to know everything about me? Why?”

“Well,” I started. “You have enemies, that much is clear, you debate your actions years after you make them, not even thinking about any possible repercussions.”

The boy frowned but I continued.

“You act before thinking, kill before asking, and I need to know if that will reflect on us as your lost boys in the future. So any possible dangerous enemies you could have made on your journey needs to be revealed, just so I can be ready.”

“To protect the boys?” He asked. I nodded, smiling warmly at his apparent lack of reluctance.

“And if needs be… protect you.” He smirked, our hands still entwined. He paused before shaking once.

“You would make an amazing leader.” He grinned, before my vision blurred and I woke up. Once again in the captain’s cabin, the morning sun bursting through the unnecessarily opulent, and open curtains.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who do you want to win in this brewing love triangle?


	10. Chapter 10

Pan had reluctantly selected Felix to come and collect me from the ship, obviously unable to hold me around the waist in order to fly.

Father packed me a bag with the strict instructions to change my bandage daily using the fresh cloths in the pockets. The rest of my bag was filled with the shells and other gifts, the pirates had given me in an attempt to make me feel better.

Felix took the bag from me in a second, shocked when I used my free arms to hug him, elated that it was him and not Pan. Despite the agreement the night before, I was still unsure of Pan’s actions regarding hurting me, understandable after he was the one that stabbed me.

Felix didn’t hug back, but gave me a smile that went from ear to ear, showing his happiness to see me. I waved goodbye to the pirates after an extra-long goodbye from my father and Hook, both reluctant to see me go, but respecting my wishes to return to the island.

During the journey, Felix remained quiet, as if he had been ordered to do so. Pan met us on the shore and helped me out of the boat, taking extra care not to touch my waist.

“Do you remember our discussion last night princess?”

“Of course I do.”

“Well then, training begins tomorrow, but for now, dinner. I don’t expect you to join us.”

“No, I will be there.” I smiled warmly, feeling it fade as Pan waved his hand over Felix, removing the spell that had been used on him. “What did you do?” I asked, hiding my anger.

“Felix and I had an arrangement too, didn’t we Felix?” Pan smirked, making me worried for the lost boy. Felix only nodded, still under some sort of spell. “After that little disagreement I think we can safely say that I won.”

Once again Felix only nodded, but as Pan vanished back to camp, he turned to me and hugged me, kissing my cheek quickly before rushing back to camp, gesturing for me to follow. I felt myself smile, my hand resting on the cheek he had ever so softly grazed with his lips, before following him into the woods.

That evening was one of celebration. After I had dropped my belongings off at my treehouse, I returned to the campfire, surrounded by dancing lost boys, whooping and hollering once again to the silent music.

Dinner was delectable buffet of food, brought into the world with a wave of Pan’s hand, the smells alone enough to fill one up.

During the evening, Pan grew bored, it was clear by the way he was sat, his legs over the arm of his chair and his hands plucking the feathers from an arrow. I realised once he had dropped the last feather to the ground that it was one of mine, the blood stained tip showing me it was the one that caught his ear.

“Just before he stabbed me.” I thought to myself, my brain whirring to think of an activity. Suddenly it came to me, something simple, something easy, something that won’t get me stabbed.

“Hey Pan!” I called, pulling the attention of the whole camp. “How about a game of blind boy’s bluff?”

The boys stopped, curious by the offer of a game. Pan smirked, knowing my intentions to include him in the game. “Alright, Nibs, you first.”

Nibs stepped up to me and I used one of father’s clean handkerchiefs and some vine to wrap the makeshift blindfold around the boy’s head. The others giggled and wound around the blind boy, resulting in him winding around in circles in an attempt to catch someone. Nibs was tapped and pushed, poked and even kicked, but still he laughed, attempting to catch someone.

Finally he caught Slightly, the skinny boy unable to get away from his captor. I moved forward and removed Nibs makeshift blindfold, re-attaching it to slightly. Then the game began again. Pan laughed as the boy tripped and fell, attempting to try and catch the boys pushing him with their hands instead of sticks.

“Why don’t we make this interesting?” Called Pan rising out of his chair, to remove the blindfold from Slightly’s face. “I’ll choose who’s it, we all make our way into the woods, and whoever they catch, is on firewood duty. If they can’t catch anyone before I catch them, then they have to get the firewood.”

“Deal!” we all called together, many running into the woods before Pan could choose them. Afraid of aggravating my healing injury, I made my way slowly past Pan, silently daring him to choose me. As soon as Felix was out of sight, Pan carefully placed a blindfold of his own over my eyes.

“Lesson number one, keep your mind open to the forest around you, choose a target and mind your step.” He whispered into my ear, his fingers grazing the bitemark on my neck, shooting shivers down my spine. I turned to catch him but found only air, the boy having vanished.

I took a deep breath, closing my eyes under the fabric of green. As I focused, I heard the forest around me, the giggles of the boys and the rustle of the trees. Walking forward, I listened to the trees that rustled slower, their indication of an intruder in their branches. I smiled, almost seeing the boys high above me in the trees.

I kept walking, almost tripping on a fallen branch but holding myself up just long enough to be hit in the head with something else. Having pulled all my focus onto not falling over, I hadn’t sensed the three boys behind me until it was too late.

They took it in turns to hit me, one by one their weapons striking me. The blow to the head having already knocked me to the ground, revealed my weak side, the bandage clear for them to see. After a moment, they struck my still healing wound, eliciting a scream from me and laughter from them.

“Weak, you can’t even fight back.” One of them chuckled. I grabbed for my side but another was too quick, taking my wrists and holding my arms above my head. They kept striking, over and over, the pain causing my head to spin, until all I could think of was Pan’s words.

“Keep your mind open to the forest around you, choose a target.” I focused my mind and aimed for Pan, calling out to him, in an attempt to be saved.

Suddenly a sickening crunch came from behind me. My wrists dropped and quickly I removed my blindfold, holding onto it tightly. I looked up to see Mason, his head twisted in an awkward angle, he blinked at me one last time before dropping to the ground. Another crunch came from one of the other boys and I turned to see Felix striking a blow to Kayde’s head, knocking him down unconscious.

The third lost boy ran, his face pale. He didn’t make it far before Pan appeared in front of him, twisting his neck as easily as Mason’s. I realised as I watched the boy drop in front of Pan’s feet that I never knew his name.

“Is that one alive?” Pan called to Felix, smirking when the lost boy nodded. “Good, take him to the cages, I’ll think of a punishment later.”

Pan approached me quite quickly, healing whatever wounds he could see in the limited moonlight. His hand hovered over my side as his face paled. I looked down to see fresh blood soaking through my clean shirt.

“I’m guessing that’s something not so easily healed?” I hissed as he lifted my shirt, the fabric already starting to stick to the mess.

“I’ll have to re-stitch it.”

“But your magic…..”

“Can only do so much princess, I’ll have to bring the skin together to give it some sort of lasting hold.”

“So healing only works on the outside, you can’t fix internal things?” Pan shook his head and instantly I understood. “Limits are good.” Pan raised a brow at me. “That way you don’t get lazy.”

“Are you saying……” I hissed and cut him off, leading him to realise that he had been pushing on my side a bit too hard.

“No, it’s just good to have limits, now can you sew me up or not?” I winked at the boy to try and ease some tension and thankfully a small smirk lifted the right corner of his mouth, straight away allowing me to ease up on the grip of one of my knives.

With what felt like a soft breeze, he magicked us back to the floor of the treehouse. I shot up instantly, despite the pain in my side, remembering what happened the last time I was on the floor with the boy. The scar on my neck seemed to tingle at the thought. Hunched over I made my way to the bag that father had given me, producing new bandages from the bag and turning around to see Pan had produced something of his own.

“I’ll try my best not to hurt you love.” Pan’s voice had softened, no doubt at the fear now clear on my face. I gulped as I looked at the tiny metal object protruding from his index finger and his thumb.

Slowly I made my way towards the bed and eased myself down. I analysed the ceiling and waited for the sharp pain to come. Suddenly Pan’s face appeared in my vision, wiping away a tear that had escaped my eye.

“What are you so afraid of?” He seemed concerned, his eyebrows furrowing together slightly but a hint of humour lay behind them and I knew he was making fun.

“I hate needles. Ever since I was small, they make me feel so sick.” Pan scoffed as he peeled away the red soaked bandage to reveal the damage.

“Wow, I really got you didn’t I?” He admitted quietly. I sighed before smiling a little, remembering that night.

“Weren’t expecting me to get that close, were you?”

“Not really.” I heard him admit, unwilling to look at him for fear of seeing the needle again. I closed my eyes and thought of my mother, no doubt finding something to do with her time and all the space she had in the large, and now empty house.

I thought of her fingers darning the neighbour children’s socks, as she hummed to herself by the fire, or even whilst she sat surrounded by them, telling them the same stories she told me of pirates and mermaids and……..

My eyes shot open as I realised one of mother’s stories was sat right next to me. My little gasp of realisation had caught the attention of the boy.

“Sorry, I’m being as gentle as I can be.”

“No, not you, I just realised something is all.” He waited for me to continue but I was lost in the memory.

“Realised what?”

“Mother used to tell me stories when I was small, she also told many other children and read stories to many children who couldn’t read themselves.”

“One night,” I continued. “She told me the story of a boy who could fly, of mermaids and pirates and of a girl. A girl who darned their socks and told them stories. She flew with her brothers over the lakes and there was a ticking crocodile.”

“No ticking crocs here.” He said matter of factly.

“I know, but she had told me a version of neverland, one I would have wanted to visit, it’s the story she tells.”

“That’s how I’ll be remembered, as a fairytale?”

“But that’s just it, our stories are just stories, you live it and someone else tells it. You can’t decide who will tell your story, but a fairytale will last…….. probably as long as you will be here……forever.”

“I’m finished.” He stated, standing and magicking away the blood.

“But I didn’t….”

“I took away the pain.” He seemed angry yet also sad. As if I had said something that had upset him. “You’re welcome.”

“Wait.” I grabbed his hand, sensing he was about to leave. I eased myself up off the bed and stepped forward. “Promise me that one day you will tell me your story? I don’t want some fairytale, I want the truth.”

Pan seemed confused by my plea and stepped closer to me.

“I’m glad you’re not dead.” He snatched his hand out of mine and before I could protest, he vanished, once again leaving me alone in the little house.


End file.
